In the midnight hour
With cigar smoked
In the dark tower
In quandary revoked
Tossed into a funk
Habitual in a pity
Downcast and drunk
A ward of the city
No more thinking
For gears or cogs
Or sprockets drinking
Hunting with old dogs
Headache troubles
Hangovers galore
Stomach bubbles
Regrets by the score
Too many mistakes
Error after error
After hour takes
Mirror turns to terror
Sirens, flashing lights
No license or insurance
More than plights
And endurance
Warrants, charges
And an attitude
Translates, enlarges
Beyond civil platitude
Cuffs then to jail
Things looking rough
Charges and bail
Making life tough
Without exemption
Nowhere to turn
Forget redemption
If you cannot learn
Heaven forbid that you should be afflicted with
PARASKEVIDEKATRIAPHOBIA or FRIGGATRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA
Today of all days, my word!